Thursday, February 2, 2012

Married Fairy


The best day for her & the worst day for me had finally come. It was **-December-2010, chilling night in Delhi. Cool air was breezing through my body & making me frozen but the feeling of having a glimpse of her that night made me warm all the way to her wedding place. I still feel myself shattered when I think of that day, but when the hell don't I remember that day. Every day, every moment she reminded me of her, her smile, her dimples, her rose petal lips, her cat's eyes, and all.
I reached the place with trembling steps but I controlled myself. As I entered the farm house, my eyes started searching for her, holy shit with me. How could have I found her when she was busy in making herself? I made myself busy with talking to my friends on mobile to wait for her to come out. Suddenly I turned & saw her coming out with his family members. Her brothers had shielded her with a red coloured odhni, it was actually a rasm. She was looking like a fairy in her wedding dress. Actually she was a fairy in her wedding dress. I stepped ahead to feel her close to me. She didn't know yet that I was there at her marriage. Slightly breathless, we just gazed at each other, smiling at each other. She smiled to show herself happy & I smiled to hide my tears as they were trying to come out of my eyes. I promised her once, I would surely make my foot prints at her marriage either as her husband or as me only and I did.
I was trying to take my steps to her but every step I felt it was tied with thousands of chains & get locked. But somehow I broke all the chains, unlocked myself and was in front of her. She was looking damn gorgeous, like a fairy about whom I have heard in the stories in my childhood. I was giving her a breathless & restless stare. I think here I am lacking in my words to explain her beauty. She was stepping into her new life but leaving me back, my love, my feelings to her, the time we shared with each other, joys & sorrows of each other, everything, bloody every moment of mine with her. I tried to click the fairy on my mobile with my trembling hands but failed & the picture was so hazy. I tried to make a video clip of her but deleted the video in place of saving it. What the hell was happening to me?
I knew I was going to miss her more than I missed anything in my whole life. I was not going to miss her smile but my own. I was crying & dying for her. I was not sad because she was going, I was sad because she will never come back to me.
She was no more for me & perhaps I was too for her. I felt suddenly that somebody inside pushing & taking me far from her, so far from where no one could take me back to her. I really didn’t want to come back from there but was helpless. All the way back I was thinking of that married fairy, my married fairy. I lost her finally. Actually, we lost each other & it all seemed that it happened every day, every single moment to me. I thought that I was going to leave my foot prints to her but she went leaving her foot prints behind mine & few with me. One was her & other was mine. :-( :-) :-(

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